Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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