sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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