I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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