ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
he puts the penis in happiness.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
