I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize