I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
