She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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