She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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