she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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