By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
This baby is an asshole
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
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