"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I am one with the molecules
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Randomize
