dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
