if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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