Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
