O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
