something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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