He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize