I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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