i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
