I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize