Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
