fuck your aforementioned shoe
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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