And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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