he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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