Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
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