No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
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