Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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