you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
