but the lizard people decide everything anyway
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
