I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
