If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
