just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
