I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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