Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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