it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
