You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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