Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
