I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Dear god my vagina.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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