maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
