I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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