just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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