Don't you send me to vm
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
