This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
