Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
