I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
