Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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