still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
