Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
