I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
