Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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