so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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