Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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