Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
