i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
