why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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