ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
