Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We have so much sex to catch up on
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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