the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I need to stop coming to work sober
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Im part way to drunk.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
