Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
