So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
