I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
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