She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
